Back in town

Finally back from my Sinotastic tour. Shanghai – Guangzhou – Hong Kong – Taipei – Hong Kong – Guangzhou – Shanghai in 10 days. Lots of presentations and meetings and presentation meetings and meetings about presentations. I arrived home Friday utterly exhausted.

Since it’s Andy’s last weekend in China he flew down from Beijing to hang out. We hired a driver Saturday and drove with my Kiwi friend Karla to Suzhou, a “town” (all “towns” in China seem to be about the size of Houston) about 60 km from Shanghai. It’s described as the “Venice of China” because it’s an old city built around canals and gardens and just bursting with CHARM!

My expectations were low. Many of the historic wonders of China have been “restored” to Technicolor simulacrum (see: City, Forbidden) that capture nothing of the essence of the place. When we arrived I was pleasantly surprised to find the historic parts of Suzhou still seemed relatively authentic. The gardens were also beautiful if a tad overwrought.

I was also pleasantly surprised that I arrived with all four limbs still attached.

Everyone says that the people in (insert wherever you happen to be) are the world’s worst drivers. I can’t judge whether the Chinese are the worst drivers, but they’re certainly the least afraid of dying in horrific, fiery, head-on collisions. We spent two white-knuckled hours in the car accelerating, braking, accelerating, honking, accelerating and swerving and accelerating around trucks, cars, people, buses, bicycles, animals, et.al.

Our driver had the patient, deliberate technique of someone driving with his hair on fire. At one point we blindly careened across four lanes of traffic, horn blaring. Andy started screaming and curled into the fetal position as we came within inches of a gas tanker. Karla flipped furiously through the phrasebook to find the Mandarin for “Please drive more slowly.” It’s hard to use the right tone when you’re seeing your life flash before your eyes.

I can only say that if I’m destined to die in a car crash – please don’t let it be in a Buick.

Overall:

Suzhou’s worth a visit.

But take the train.

(The photo is from a Suzhou garden.)