????

Since I’ve been nervous to go to restaurants that aren’t American fast food joints or packed with foreigners, I’ve been foraging in conveniece stores where there’s less opportunity for COMPLETE COMMUNICATION MELTDOWN.

The food is sometimes, eh, challenging. Not so much for what it is, but for figuring out what it is.

To wit, here’s a largely accurate transciption of my thoughts as I shop:

Don’t know what that is.
Don’t know what that is either.
Ummm… some kind of shrink-wrapped bag of indeterminate flesh.
Yogurt in a bag?
Plastic tub of goo.
I didn’t know you could use “zesty” as a noun.
Jello, maybe? Although that looks like corn. Who would eat corn in Jello?
“Smokey prawn” Pringles, no.
These are the most perfect apples I’ve ever seen.
This is a really good price for this.
Really don’t know what that is.
It looks like candy. But it’s made of meat.

Generally I’ve ended up with shrink wrapped vegetables, crackers and a bottle of water. It’s kinda hard to fuck up vegetables, crackers and water.